Control is a deceitful emotion because it gives the illusion that you have the power to manipulate outcomes and make certain things occur. The truth is that although you influence many areas of your life, the need for control actually stifles growth. To truly experience success, you must replace control with an opposite response–surrender.
Know What Is and Is Not Working
It is vital to assess what you are doing to understand what is and is not working when striving for success. When leading Uncovery Sessions with my clients, I want to find out what they are doing, what is and isn’t working, where they want to go, and the challenges they face. Once these areas are revealed, I commonly find that most of my clients are paralyzed or not making certain decisions because they don’t understand what actions are affecting their outcomes. Typically the issues are in the areas of mindset, strategy and execution.
The truth is, when these areas are uncovered there is no guarantee that you will accomplish outstanding outcomes because the only person that can have any control over carrying out the plan is you. No matter how detailed the map and the plan, the actual work–how you choose to show up every day–is entirely up to you.
Reject the Certainty of Outcome Myth
Certainty of the outcome is an illusion. No one can guarantee that anyone will obtain specific results because it isn’t something someone can write down on a piece of paper and hand to someone. Certainty of outcome is something you write on a piece of paper, and then you achieve. If you reach out to another person to help you achieve results, at that moment, you are surrendering control of the way you think things should go to someone else to help you discover a better path to success. By relinquishing control and trusting their advice, you become activated to make better decisions–decisions from a mindset of letting go of what wasn’t working in the first place. The reason this works is that you stop trying to do things the ways they have always been done–the ways that were obviously not working–and you allow your mind to embrace a new way of thinking and working. Letting go empowers you to reach new levels of success.
Change Habits to Change Results
You have gotten to the place you are today through what you know right now. But the knowledge you have today may not be enough to propel you to where you want to be. To achieve a different result, something has to change. If you keep doing the same thing, you will continue to get the same result. Math provides a great illustration of this concept. One plus one is two–One plus one is two–One plus one is two–One plus one will ALWAYS equal two. Unless something in this equation changes, the results, without fail, will consistently remain the same. Surrendering control means trying things a different way–changing the equation for success.
Control Your Vision
The concept of surrendering control creates feelings of uncertainty because it doesn’t feel safe. It can leave you with questions like who you can trust and how you know if someone is speaking the truth? You don’t. You have no control over anyone except yourself. But you do get to retain control over a critical concept–you control your vision and what you want to achieve–the most valuable thing you can possibly control. Take this vision, hold it clearly in the forefront of your mind, and purposely work toward your driving goal. Don’t stop with what you know, but step out of your comfort zone and begin doing things past what you know to do today. Begin doing what you know will get you past your current point, and then you will find yourself achieving at levels you didn’t expect.
The beauty of controlling your vision is that it allows you to surrender to the burning desire inside your heart. The passion that is driving you to reach out and obtain your goals. When you want to control the path to get there, you begin messing up God’s plan and design because the path and how it shows up is not up to you. When you give up control over the path and focus on the end result, the people you need can show up; the places you need to go show up; the events can show up–everything you need to get you there begins to show up.
Replace Control with Surrender
The challenge is to replace the grip of control with the freedom of surrender. Begin to trust that what you desire is actually out there for you. Think about how your path would look, how different today would look, if you would stop your control and become a welcome recipient of what you have asked for without judging the “how” of getting there. The minute you start judging what shows up; The minute you start questioning whether what shows up is the right thing–you stop the progress. Surrender. Let go of control and see what happens.
At the Growth Architect, we want to help you break through with tools and techniques to make your vision happen. My job as a strategist is to help you understand how your mindset, growth, and business strategies work together.
That’s what I do! If you want to hear more about how to let go of control and achieve results, then watch my video–let’s grow!
Beate Chelette is The Growth Architect & Founder of The Women’s Code, a training company specialized in providing companies an ROI on Balanced Leadership. She has been named one of 50 must-follow women entrepreneurs by the Huffington Post. A first-generation immigrant who found herself $135,000 in debt as a single parent, she bootstrapped her passion for photography into a highly successful global business and eventually sold it to Bill Gates in a multimillion-dollar deal.
Beate works with business leaders and supports organizations by developing and providing training the training, tools, and expertise to create and maintain a balanced, equal, and inclusive work environment that fosters creativity, employee engagement, and corporate growth.
Recent clients include Merck, Women’s Legislative Caucus of California, Cal State University Dominguez Hills, Small Business Development Centers (SBDC), NFTE, CreativeLive, the Association of Corporate Growth, and TracyLocke.
Beate is the author of the #1 International Amazon Bestseller “Happy Woman Happy World – How to Go From Overwhelmed to Awesome” a book that corporate trainer and best-selling author Brian Tracy calls “a handbook for every woman who wants health, success and a fulfilling career.
To book Beate to speak or train please connect here. Your Time Is Valuable!