It’s been a difficult year for many of us. Like me, you may be still feeling the crushing loss of the Presidential election. Not to worry, I won’t make this political. I only wish to share a few thoughts with you about success.
The Women’s Code focuses on fostering women leadership and everything that goes with it. From helping corporations large and small bring more balance to their leadership teams, to working with women directly as they discover their personal leadership styles. Both excite me equally because my team and I can make an impact that will help women thrive as they climb to the top.
One of the topics I discuss in detail in my book Happy Woman Happy World is that women have a hard time supporting other women. Every day I see and hear proof that this is true. And the election proved it again.
What Women Want
During a recent conversation I learned of a brilliant woman who received a well-deserved promotion. Almost in tears, she told me that instead of the big celebration she expected, all she received were cold shoulders—but not from men, from other women.
It’s hard enough for women to be seen and heard and to overcome the horrific back-rolling statistics in organizations. In addition to this struggle there is an undercurrent that keeps tearing at us as we advance. Sadly, it is caused by other women.
My wish for this holiday season is very simple. Last week I shared my secret of my poisonous childhood at the hands of my own mother. Now I am asking that you make a very special effort toward all women.
Compliment them on something real like their smile, their courage, their determination, and their talent.
Instead of ignoring (or worse) another woman who has achieved something that you want, please approach her with congratulations and ask her how she did it. Perhaps she’ll share her trials and tribulations of how hard she had to fight, and how deeply she suffers when other women do not wish her well.
Let’s end the isolation of women. Let’s openly and sincerely embrace and support each other.
If You Can’t Relate, Feel Blessed
Inevitably some of you will be shaking your heads right about now ready to point out how wrong I am. You don’t believe such a thing exists. It can’t be true because you have never experienced it yourself.
And to that I say, lucky you! I hope you will continue down the path of wonderful women friendships. Please share your wisdom with those of us who’ve been bullied, terrorized, and violated in words and actions by other women.
Like the woman who signed up as my client last week. She acquired my course materials, which meant third-party providers billed me for her usage, before withdrawing her commitment with a vague excuse. Now I am out of pocket. I wonder how she could knowingly and willingly do that to another woman. Well… karma… I suppose.
The Cycle Stops Now
It happens all the time to many of us. Co-workers who exclude us or set us up to fail, “friends” who go after our husbands, business partners who make promises and once we deliver they “forget” it was supposed to be mutually beneficial.
It is not unusual for other women to be indifferent or jealous about your success. It happens for many different reasons. Scarcity thinking is one of them. Your discomfort with owning your success and stepping fully into this role is another.
Women don’t learn to speak about ourselves in praising terms. We are not taught to say what we are good at, and we are not groomed to be leaders. The lucky ones may have a mentor here and there who helps to guide us, but for the most part we are left to figure this out on our own. Bumbling along the way, working constantly to prove our value, and forever searching for full acceptance. Even super successful women struggle with that very issue. A part of us knows we deserve what we have, but there is often sadness because we aren’t celebrated the same way successful men are celebrated. Why are we not supported more?
What tugs at my heartstrings is to see how many of us feel sad and disappointed. We miss our sisters.
So let’s make a pact and become the sisters to others that we want for ourselves.
My hope for 2017 is to hear more from you. Please go to our community page and share your thoughts. Let’s help each other soar.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and A Happy New Year
At her lowest point, Beate Chelette was $135,000 in debt, a single mother, and forced to leave her home. Only 18 months later, she sold her image licensing business to Bill Gates in a multimillion dollar deal. Chelette is a nationally known ‘gender decoder’ who has appeared in over 60 radio shows, respected speaker, career coach, consummate creative entrepreneur, and author of Happy Woman Happy World. Beate is also the founder of The Women’s Code, a unique guide to women leadership and personal and career success that offers a new code of conduct for today’s business, private, and digital worlds. Determined to build a community of women supporting each other, she took her life-changing formula documented it all in a book Brian Tracy calls “an amazing handbook for every woman who wants health, happiness, love and success!”
Through her corporate initiative “Why Acting Like a Girl Is Good For Business” she helps companies with gender diversification training, and to develop and retain women.
If you’d like to book Beate as a speaker on New Leadership Balance or Creative Entrepreneurship for your next event please connect with me.