Sign on to social media or turn on the news and hostility is high! It seems we’ve lost the ability to hold a conversation about… anything without conflict. And, frankly, it’s not getting us anywhere.

The question today is how do we remove the hostility from the dialogue?

Conflict arises when two people are unable or unwilling to see the other side’s point of view. This kind of total disregard quickly leads to a shouting match where neither side feels heard. This is because not only do they feel that their opinion does not matter, the whole of their being has been invalidated. Let me elaborate…

Every thought, opinion, or belief we have comes from some experience we’ve had…and no two people have had exactly the same experience. This is because we have different races, sexual orientations, gender identifications, upbringings, political or religious beliefs, abilities, backgrounds, etc. If we were all the same, we would all think, talk and act the same. There would be no conflict (or at least significantly less). We would just be a homogenized, sexless society in total agreement all the time.

But we don’t live in that world…so, here’s what you have to remember next time you find yourself in hostile waters:

NEVER assume you know where someone is coming from. You do not know what you’ve never experienced. You can only speak to YOUR experience and expertise. So, seek to understand what makes you different. Ask questions. Don’t talk. Listen. Listen to hear. Listen to learn.

Only when both sides try to understand what makes us different can we begin to find common ground – or at least alleviate the hostility.


Why can’t we be civil? Stop struggling with the hostility! Implement the importance of listening and learning this simple solution and start getting somewhere with the other side!

Let’s grow,

Beate Chelette is The Growth Architect & Founder of The Women’s Code, a training company specialized in providing companies an ROI on Balanced Leadership. She has been named one of 50 must-follow women entrepreneurs by the Huffington Post. A first-generation immigrant who found herself $135,000 in debt as a single parent, she bootstrapped her passion for photography into a highly-successful global business and eventually sold it to Bill Gates in a multimillion-dollar deal.

Beate works with business leaders and supports organizations by developing and providing training the training, tools, and expertise to create and maintain a balanced, equal, and inclusive work environment that fosters creativity, employee engagement, and corporate growth.

Recent clients include Merck, Women’s Legislative Caucus of California, Cal State University Dominguez Hills, Small Business Development Centers (SBDC), NFTE, CreativeLive, the Association of Corporate Growth, and TracyLocke.

Beate is the author of the #1 International Amazon Bestseller “Happy Woman Happy World – How to Go From Overwhelmed to Awesome” a book that corporate trainer and best-selling author Brian Tracy calls “a handbook for every woman who wants health, success and a fulfilling career.

To book Beate to speak or train please connect here.Your Time Is Valuable!

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