Few habits will derail your success more than getting into a pattern of negative self-talk. It is always a lose-lose scenario because you can never win games that you play against yourself. Negative self-talk creates doubt and fear and keeps you from gaining control and confidence in your life. Today is the day to develop strategies for overcoming this self-defeating, opposing force in your mind.
Recognize Your Inner Battle
Your mind is a battlefield, and there is a discrepancy between what you know you should do and the safe area where your brain is wired to keep you. Because of this, you have to double down and create a push to move forward. For example, in a downtime in the economy, you see that there are people who lay the foundation for making a great deal of money because they are putting it out when no one else is and gaining market share quickly. Why doesn’t everyone do this? Fear. You may hear this, and your mind understands why it works, but you become fearful and afraid that you are making a mistake. This is just an example of how your mind works. Everyone feels this way, but some people overcome it because they learn to control the inner battle in their mind and overcome the fear. Almost all negative thoughts are born from fear, and you must recognize that to win the battle of the mind.
Stop The Double Blind Messaging
I had the opportunity to interview my mindset coach and mentor, David Neagle, this week on my podcast, The Business Growth Architect Show, where we discuss a different strategy for success each week. And we had a fantastic conversation around a phenomenon called double-blind messaging. You may not be familiar with the name of this concept, but most people have experienced it. Double-blind messaging takes place when you know you need to do something, and you are clear and have an awareness of what needs to happen. Still, old programming is running in your head, triggered by fear, that causes a clash in your mind between what you need to do and what your old programming is telling you to do. When this happens, your brain creates a crazy motion pool, and it feels like a screaming match in your head – You need to do this; no, you can’t do that; what if you make a horrible mistake and it ruins everything? No, you can do this; just step out – you know you need to think positively, but how can you do that with all this conflicting messaging in your head? Double-blind messaging causes confusion and you can overcome it by recognizing fear.
To overcome these conflicting messages in your head, you must pause and recognize that you already know what needs to be done. Just stop and give yourself a pat on the shoulder, a little grace, and tell yourself that you’ve got this – you have REALLY got this. And when negative thoughts come creeping into your mind, you train your mind to recognize it as fear and approach that thought with curiosity. Don’t freak out; pause and ask yourself why that fear has shown up and figure out where it is coming from in your mind. When you approach the feeling of fear and negativity with curiosity, then you can figure out its origin and remove its value. That is the only real way to stop the conflict of messaging in your brain and shut down the noise, and meet your challenge with tenacity.
Focus On What You Can Control
There will always be things out of your control, but your focus must shift from what you cannot control to what you can control. The constant push and pull in your mind can wear you down, and the way to overcome that weary feeling is to make sure you consciously focus on what you actually control. When you know that your subconscious has been triggered into an area you cannot control, you have to decide to give it no meaning. By learning to recognize old programming that is fear focused, you are learning to manage your conscious mind, and that is where your work pays off in overcoming negative self-talk.
At the Growth Architect, we want to help you break through your past programming that keeps you defeated and in the cycle of negative self-talk. We also want to provide you with the strategies and tools to shift you into a positive mindset that learns to overcome fear. That’s what we do! If you enjoyed this article, watch my video, How To Handle Negative Self-Talk, and tune in to my podcast, The Business Growth Architect Show.
Beate Chelette is The Growth Architect & Founder of The Women’s Code, and provides visionaries and leaders with strategies, blueprints and results-oriented, tangible tools and techniques that give clear steps to improve business systems, strengthen leadership skills and teams so that you can scale your impact.
A first-generation immigrant who found herself $135,000 in debt as a single parent, Beate bootstrapped her passion for photography into a highly successful global business and eventually sold it to Bill Gates in a multimillion-dollar deal. She is amongst the “Top 100 Global Thought Leaders” by PeopleHum and “One of 50 Must-Follow Women Entrepreneurs” by HuffPost.
Recent clients include Amazon, Reckitt (the maker of Lysol), Chevron, Merck, Johnson & Johnson, the Women’s Legislative Caucus of California Cal State University Dominguez Hills, Shelter Inc., Mental Health First Aid and thousands of small businesses.
Beate is the author of the #1 International Amazon Bestseller “Happy Woman Happy World – How to Go From Overwhelmed to Awesome” –a book that corporate trainer and best-selling author Brian Tracy calls “a handbook for every woman who wants health, success and a fulfilling career.”
To book Beate to speak or train please connect here. Your Time Is Valuable!