Imagine me sitting in the Seattle Airport lounge overlooking the tarmac with a drink in hand. It’s a bustle down there. In the distance I see snowcaps on the mountains. The adorable Millennial couple sitting next to me is explaining to their two kids that the guy at the counter is friends with the luggage driver, and they both know the pilot. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Except that I am emotionally exhausted.
Exhausted from putting my big virtual online event together. YourBusinessMC.com is running November 2-3-4. Exhausted from too much traveling. And frankly, exhausted most of all from other people’s demands on me.
The Best Laid Plans
I flew here to connect with a long-time friend who has terminal cancer. The plan was to visit with him and then spend time with my girlfriend who is celebrating a big birthday on San Juan Island. The reality couldn’t have been further from what I had envisioned. From the moment I arrived it was clear my ill friend needed and wanted to be taken care of. To an extent, I expected as much. I cooked, took him grocery shopping, and even drove him to a medical procedure because he had nobody else who could take him.
What happened next can only be described as a nightmare. Either the drugs or another condition caused my friend to become erratic and confused, unable to decipher what actually happened and what he thought happened. And while the details are not important, I found myself at the center of the story—as the villain, no less.
After spending nine hours in the ER and being subjected to more volatility, I changed my flight at midnight last night because I knew I had to get out to stop his demands on me. Even though I very likely saved his life yesterday, it did not protect me from his decidedly different viewpoint.
I was caught in the trap of wanting to do the right thing, which is to take care of others when they are in need, and needing to protect myself from his emotional and volatile outbursts. I am sure all of you are able to relate in some capacity.
Taking Care of #1
At the end of the day I had to put myself first. When the Uber arrived and I checked in at the airline counter 5 hours before my domestic flight, I tried to ask for an earlier flight and found I was unable to speak. I was shaking and sobbing. Wow. I can be a tough German broad but this one did me in.
That’s how I ended up in the lounge with a martini watching planes come and go while reflecting on what just happened.
Take A Step Back
Truly, we women can get so easily caught up in the demands others put on us. We naturally do what is asked without thinking much about the bigger picture. Many other times in the past, I stayed and stayed while taking the abuse and hoping it would get better. But what saved me this time was asking myself three simple questions:
1.) Whose problem is this really?
When we can answer with a clear “not mine” it becomes easier to see the next step.
2.) If it is not my problem, what are my obligations so I can be okay with letting this go?
In my case, I had to fill the family in on what had happened and make sure the doctors were in the loop.
3.) What do I need to do to protect or take care of myself?
This is the one aspect many of us will forget. Yet, when we do not put ourselves first we end up depleted.
The question I want you to ask yourself now is simple. Would it be helpful for you to join us for YourBusinessMC? Twelve influencers and Master Teachers will cover everything from how to write a bestselling book, to overcoming negative inner chatter, building your confidence, building frameworks for freedom, to learning how to find the right kind of client. On top of all that, one of my favorites is how to dress for success. Lauren Messiah will give you her essential wardrobe list as one of her gifts. And who doesn’t need that?!
Even if not all of these are right for you, perhaps a few sessions could be a powerful catalyst for the change you are looking for in your life. I want to invite you again to join us. I promise it will be worth it.
Here are two more of our Master Teachers.
Craig is a speaker, author, radio host, and the creator of RockStar Marketing and RockStar Personal Growth. Craig’s background includes touring with Guns N’ Roses as Axl Rose’s personal assistant, and Air Supply as the band assistant.
Craig is also an award-winning copywriter. He was the Creative Director for a Los Angeles-based ad agency until opening his own ad agency, Green Room Design & Advertising, which was named the 2002 Santa Clarita Valley Chamber of Commerce Small Business of the Year.
Craig combines his backgrounds in both music and marketing and is now a professional speaker and author, promoting his RockStar Events all over the country. He teaches entrepreneurs, small businesses, home-based business, and the self-employed how to promote themselves and their businesses by thinking outside the box.
Stephanie is a writer, marketer, and business coach at The Awakened Business. She specializes in helping successful entrepreneurs translate their unique identity into resonant marketing messages that no one can copy. She’ll show you how to share your expertise with a larger audience through an inspired action plan, without fear of burning out or compromising your values. She’s coached both solo-preneurs and multi-million dollar businesses and has been featured on The Huffington Post, Fox Business News, Vox and numerous publications on and offline.
If you are looking for inspiration and insights, you won’t want to miss YourBusinessMC!
At her lowest point, Beate Chelette was $135,000 in debt, a single mother, and forced to leave her home. Only 18 months later, she sold her image licensing business to Bill Gates in a multimillion dollar deal. Chelette is a nationally known ‘gender decoder’ who has appeared in over 60 radio shows, respected speaker, career coach, consummate creative entrepreneur, and author of Happy Woman Happy World. Beate is also the founder of The Women’s Code, a unique guide to women leadership and personal and career success that offers a new code of conduct for today’s business, private, and digital worlds. Determined to build a community of women supporting each other, she took her life-changing formula documented it all in a book Brian Tracy calls “an amazing handbook for every woman who wants health, happiness, love and success!”
Through her corporate initiative “Why Acting Like a Girl Is Good For Business” she helps companies with gender diversification training, and to develop and retain women.
If you’d like to book Beate as a speaker on New Leadership Balance or Creative Entrepreneurship for your next event please connect with me.