There are moments in life that split time in two. Before… and after.
This year did that for me.
When you experience a moment like I did, everything takes on a different meaning—especially during the holidays. Hanukkah candles flicker. Christmas lights glow. And suddenly, the question isn’t what am I giving this year? but what am I finally willing to receive?
When Life Is Full, You Don’t Question the Flow
At the beginning of the year, life felt full in the best way. I got married on January 3rd. My husband was right there beside me—still is—holding the camera, making sure everything worked. My 95-year-old mother-in-law would not have missed that moment for anything.
It was a joy. Celebration. A sense of arrival.
And then, just days later, while we were on our honeymoon, everything burned to the ground.
A catastrophic, life-changing fire.
Everything we owned—gone.
The Mother’s Day cards. The Christmas ornaments. My grandmother’s pearls. Love notes from my husband.
All of it disappeared in an instant.
I remember standing there realizing that when we left to get married, all we needed was a backpack. And when we came back, we had… nothing. No wallet. No purse. No jewelry. No sense of grounding. Just shock.
Loss like that changes you. Because you think there’s nothing left that can replace what you once had.
What Burned Away—and What Rose Instead
Here’s what surprised me.
What we lost was everything we owned. What emerged was everything that mattered.
Our community.
People showed up in ways I still don’t have words for. They raided our shopping list. They sent toothbrushes. Toothpaste. Hairbrushes. Underwear. Things so basic—and yet so deeply intimate—because they were acts of care.
And it stopped me in my tracks.
For over 45 years, I have mentored, supported, and given freely—without expectation of return. I did that because of where I came from. Because of childhood abuse. Because I always had a soft spot for the colorful, the non-conforming, the weird, the awkward. The ones who never felt like they fit in—because I never did either.
I helped because it felt natural. Necessary. Human.
What I never realized was that mentorship, generosity, and presence don’t disappear into the void.
They build an energetic reservoir.
The Moment the Giver Has Nothing Left to Give
Standing in the ruins of my life, I had nothing left to offer. I was empty.
And for the first time, I had to let people make a bold move on my behalf.
That’s when it hit me: Everything I had given over 45 years came rushing back—in three weeks.
Not in small ways. In overwhelming, humbling magnitude.
And I didn’t know what to say. Because no one prepares you for the moment when you realize that receiving can feel harder than giving.
The Real Difference Between Giving and Receiving
We’re taught that giving is a straight line. You give, and maybe someday it comes back.
That’s not how it works.
It’s an infinity loop.
You give. You ask. You receive. You give. You ask. You receive.
That loop is what prevents burnout. That loop is what allows growth. That loop is what lets you take others with you instead of collapsing under the weight of being “the strong one.”
Even the strongest woman in the room will have a moment when she needs help.
God knows I did. And I still do.
The Holidays Have a Way of Revealing the Truth
As we approach the one-year anniversary of that fire, I won’t pretend I’m on the other side. I’m not.
I’m in the messy middle.
Transformation is uncomfortable. Incomplete. You feel burned out and like an imposter at the same time because the story isn’t finished yet. This is version 3.0—still undefined.
But I believe deeply in the law of polarity. If catastrophe exists, then so must something unimaginably good on the other side of it.
I’m determined to find that.
And when I do, I’ll share it.
This Season, Let the Teacher Become the Student
The most beautiful thing that came out of all of this is that sometimes, the teacher becomes the student. And sometimes, allowing yourself to be helped becomes the lesson you were always meant to learn.
This holiday season, if you’re feeling tired… If you’re grieving something invisible… If you’re the one everyone leans on…
Please hear this:
Receiving is not weakness. Asking is not failure. And needing help does not erase a lifetime of strength.
A Quiet Invitation
If this story stirred something in you—if you’re standing in your own version of the messy middle—there is space for you.
An Uncovery Session isn’t about fixing or pushing forward. It’s about uncovering what’s already there beneath the loss, the fatigue, the expectations, and the armor.
✨ If you’re ready to explore what giving and receiving can look like in your life, I invite you to book an Uncovery Session with me.
Because sometimes the greatest gift isn’t what you give during the holidays.
It’s finally letting yourself be carried.
Let’s Grow,
Beate
