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Strong and successful alpha (masculine) women are on the rise in the business world, along with feminine men. I love that we get to pick the persona that fits us best but role reversals are also a source of confusion.

Let’s be clear—this has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Who we are attracted to is something we are born with. But when it comes to portraying masculine and feminine traits in business and beyond, we have a choice.

I am an alpha and I find great joy and comfort being in charge of my destiny. I prefer to lead instead of follow. My life choices have entirely been my own and I suffer and celebrate the consequences stemming from them. Many other women like me were taught to be responsible for ourselves, often to the dismay of my mother’s generation. Her stern warning that “men don’t like women like you” still rings in my ears.

As I further develop my corporate training program about the Bitch and Bully-Free Workplace, I am diving deeper and deeper into the topics of male and female energies and how they are enacted.

With task-oriented mindsets in decision making, organizing, making money, paying bills…we are in the masculine energy. When we think about community, wonder how everyone is doing, want everybody to be happy, and are in touch with our feelings…we are in the feminine energy.

Until a few years ago masculine was the more desirable energy in business and in developing careers. Businesses and workplaces had largely been built by men who instilled and followed these rules. So, it was necessary for women in the workplace to emulate that type of masculinity in order to be taken seriously and get ahead. We were all but forced to become alpha women or not make it ahead.

Thankfully, we’ve seen an evolution in recent years. Feminine energy has grown in workplaces and continues to push for changes to the status quo. Women are no longer content with spending too much time in the masculine because it causes huge stresses. The consequences in many areas of our lives are miserable.

Let me explain. When women are not true to their feminine energy and we spend too much time in the masculine zone, we lose our unique and true essence—our ability to feel compassion, to be intuitive, to heal, and to support. This is not only reflected in ourselves, but our families and, as the data suggests, in our workplaces as well.

Leadership requires knowledge of ourselves and what makes other people tick. Did you know women are the biggest decision makers in their households when it comes to spending? So unless you don’t want to sell to women, it would be wise to have enough feminine energy on your team to know how to hit what matters to us. Allowing women to bring the feminine to the table can only improve your business.

As women, we struggle with how to be feminine outside of the workplace and masculine within our careers. Women ultimately have to learn how to reconcile both and consciously shift from one into the next.

In our private lives, this means we may want to turn off our masculine side and surrender to our inner essence, or else we will continuously attract feminine men. And there is nothing wrong with that if it’s what you choose. But for me, I realized I needed to get out of that mode of constantly being in charge so I can reconnect with who I wholly am. I want to be in the feminine with my partner and express my nurturing self—and be appreciated for it. Who knew that allowing someone to watch out and care for you could feel so good!

On the other side, men need feminine energy. It is the life force behind everything and the power women must take back in their homes and beyond. Without the feminine there is no passion, no opposing attraction, no balance. Men need to feel, but feeling is not their strongest suit, they rather fix things, or get stuff done. To grow personally and professionally we want to embrace both sides and bring conscious awareness forward. The goal should be to know when to shift from one into the other.

Next week I will discuss the new masculine or how the traditional alpha man is changing. Stay tuned and let me know what your thoughts about this perhaps unusual business topic are.

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