We are in week five of The Women’s Code Inner Circle launch. The 25 women who have accepted my personal invitation to be part of this launch are making their way through the course material each and every week.
One thing I’d like to talk about here is the concept of forgiveness.
A big word. An easy word.
In the words of one of the attendees at the Women’s Code Conference whom I gotten to know, the reality is that it’s not easy to forgive.
And there are several level of forgiveness.
When your child makes a mistake and says he or she is sorry – it’s forgiven in a minute. We know they don’t know any better, so we teach them. When your teenager makes a mistake – it get’s a little harder, but we try. When teenagers purposely disobey rules, and can cause serious damage to themselves or others, forgiveness is more difficult.
Now if an adult such as your partner, boss or colleague makes a mistake – this is an entirely different story. Often this isn’t so much anymore about things that this person did as often as it is about what this person did not do. These people weren’t there, or didn’t listen or didn’t get a chance to explain their sides of the story.
What matters is who did what and how big that thing was. Our heart has an investment in our personal relationships. When something goes wrong – it usually affects you more deeply than you might have originally let on.
Honor yourself. Don’t say something is okay when it isn’t. Be honest about your feelings and speak your truth. If you are not ready to forgive I suggest to do a simple exercise such as one we do The Women’s Code Online course:
Think about the person who has wronged you. Write down what this person did and why it upsets you. Sit in front of the mirror and read aloud what you’ve written. After you have finished telling this person how you feel about what he or she has done, look in the mirror.
Say: “on behalf of (other person’s name) I ask you (your name) for forgiveness.”
Next say, “I forgive you and release you.”
Simple exercises like this raise awareness within yourself as to what is holding you back. That is why you want to forgive. Forgiveness releases the power that this negative experience has over you.
Let me know how this works for you. If you have other ideas that you’d like to share about forgiveness please share them with us.