You only have influence over two things: The beginning and the outcome – the middle, the path, is not up to you ~ Beate Chelette
In the previous couple of posts, you learned that your want-it-all list houses many specific desires and goals. Each of these gives you an idea of where you are in terms of what I’ve been referring to as your ego-RHYTHM™, those set periods in everyone’s life.
Although an ego-RHYTHM™ can have many twists and turns, the ego-RHYTHM™ is similar for each of us in that it highlights major life events, or stages, and it occurs for set periods of time, or cycles. To that end, I have created a list of the main categories that make up the ego-RHYTHM™. Bear in mind that many ego-RHYTHM™ stages can be interpreted in a variety of different ways depending on your personal background and current circumstances.
I’ve identified what I consider to be the most common ego-RHYTHMs™. There might be others unique to a particular culture or group. or to you alone. But make sure that you don’t design an “excuse” rhythm (I’ll address the tendency we have to make excuses in a later post). Wanting, dreaming, yearning — all will help you to manifest your wishes but they’re not ego-RHYTHMs™.
An ego-RHYTHM™ is defined as an event or occurrence that has a major impact or influence over your life. Wanting, or wishing, doesn’t fall under ego-RHYTHM™.
One woman I’ve worked with was upset that I seemed to suggest that she couldn’t have everything right now. “Why,” she asked me, “would I want to let go of this belief?” If you’re a type-A personality, a want-it-all-and-will-fight-for-it-person, the concept of a main focus on a main event can be as challenging for you as it was for this woman. I’m also a type-A personality, and I had a heck of a time coming to terms with knowing (the “K” in KARL™) and accepting (the “A” in KARL™) that I can’t have it all at one time.
You know you can do it on your own, you’ll fight your way through whatever comes your way and you’ll eventually make it. But, living life in this manner is stressful and taxing. You keep chasing something and, often enough, you don’t even know what that something is. You can’t be present in the here and now because so many things that still need to be done.
That’s why I’m teaching you what I’ve learned. This is a real-life classroom. I am sharing with you what I myself learned the hard way. I became able to set a main focus and not try to be perfect in all areas of my life. Men do it all the time and, seemingly, with great ease. They even joke about it and say, “I’m a man therefore I can only focus on one thing at a time.” Studies have shown that multi-tasking is not as effective as we would like it to be, that it takes us more time to accomplish our tasks when we attempt to do several things at the same time.
If you’ve identified a unique rhythm, you should add it to your personal want-it-all-list. And feel free to email it to me – I will consider adding it to my list for future postings and books. Thanks so much for sharing!