Just last night I had dinner with a close friend who has been through the wringer for the last few years. Not much seems to go right in her life and her challenges have been piling up on all fronts. Relationship, business, kids, death, health – you name it, she’s dealing with it. For her, every day is hunker down time. There is no time to think or want, but rather her objective is to just make it through each day and wait for the dark curtain to lift a little.
One of my team members suffered a tragic loss of a child a few years back. For all of us who know what loss feels like, we remember that there are times of the year where it’s just more difficult, where our feelings pop up like a champagne cork and spill all over.
Sometimes life isn’t fair and even if it is not our fault, bad stuff happens. And more bad stuff. You may be in a Tragedy ego-RHYTHM® and if you have identified it as such than your entire goal is to make it through this phase somehow. The silver lining here is that nothing lasts forever, not even the worst of luck.
In my own life I’ve had a number of big bumps to deal with just this last month, from a freelancer who didn’t do what was agreed upon, to an associate who acted like a friend but his actions proved otherwise. Add growing pains of The Women’s Code, cash flowing out but not in – it’s a disappointment bonanza wherever I was looking.
But is it?
The popular phrase asks is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I am a big believer in choices. We always have a choice. We can try to protect ourselves from disappointments and cautiously tiptoe through our lives, worrying that someone, somewhere, may not be doing the right thing. Or we can live with abandon and believe that a life lived with integrity and based on personal values will ultimately reward us with happiness and love.
Disappointments are a part of life. If we didn’t know bad how then could we enjoy good? We have wishes, thoughts, dreams, and big ideas. But often these ‘what if’ scenarios get squashed by life. The love grows cold, the person didn’t step up – or left, or we feel like we have been taken advantage of or been misled.
When dealing with disappointments, consider this: First and most importantly establish who we are and who we want to be in this situation. Personally, I recommend we step away until hurt and anger have subsided enough that we can get back to making good decisions. Clarity and integrity are the two terms that I revert to. What is the reality of this situation? In The Women’s Code we use the first Pillar of Awareness that shows us what the questions are to ask. Who do I want to be in this? Only you can answer what Core Code of Conduct you subscribe to and what the person you choose to be would and should do to handle this situation.
And when in doubt – do nothing.
You are so appreciated and if you are having a tough time right now, hang in there. It’s not always going to be like this.
Let me know how you are dealing with your disappointments and share your tips with our readers.