Let me start by acknowledging those of you who are cynical about this ‘florist made’ holiday. You’re right, it’s not very romantic when romance is mandated. But could we instead embrace Valentine’s Day as a great opportunity to dazzle our partners and allow them to shower us with their love?
My take is simple. Nobody argues about celebrating birthdays, or St. Patrick’s Day, or Mother’s Day. Why so much hating over Valentine’s Day? This is the one day out of 365 where we celebrate love. Make me be the woman that beams with joy because I know deep in my heart that I picked the right one.
Yet, we know there are some who take their woman for granted. Do you know a man like this?
Men get comfortable. It takes them longer to settle into a relationship but when they finally get there, they are SETTLED. And women get comfortable, too. As both parties become more accustomed to having each other around, we put in less effort to impress our partners than when we first met. We already have what we want, the conquest has been a success, no further effort is necessary.
Hold on. You know those words are not true. You can’t expect to keep winning and keeping the keys to each other’s hearts if you are no longer trying.
It is important to put forth that extra effort to show your partner how special he or she is to you. Think about it. The relationship with a significant other is supposed to last longer than any job, any car we drive, any house we live in, and stays with us long after our children leave home. Shouldn’t the relationship with your partner be where you put your best efforts?
The reporter who interviewed me this week asked if I believe chivalry is dead. Yes and no. Feminism has been misconstrued by many men who believe it means women want to do everything by ourselves. Actually, what we really want is to not be dependent. And like men, we want to feel loved and desired. (Read a fantastic description of what feminism is and is not here.)
In my own relationship I had to make a choice. I am a strong, independent, go-getter, alpha woman who is comfortable taking the lead. My man is alpha as well. To find the balance in our relationship I had to learn how to shift from my alpha side into my feminine side (described in my book Happy Woman Happy World).
We do possess both sides—masculine and feminine. The trick is knowing when to shift into one or the other. For my women, please shift into the feminine this weekend and allow your men to take care of you. That in return will give men the opportunity to rediscover chivalry.
My wish for you is that you will be loved, respected, and spoiled on this Valentine’s Day. And if you don’t have a partner in your life right now, today is a great day to spoil yourself.
Remember, nothing says I love you and I cherish you better than those very words. Now tell me, is Valentine’s a yay or nay for you?
Happy Valentine’s Day
It’s a Yay!
Other holidays feel commercialized, too… but for me, I’m all about taking the good, and leaving what I don’t like about them, behind.
And yes, even newly-weds get comfortable. Always a fan of a brisk reminder to celebrate LOVE. Thanks Beate!
Jm