I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Imagine that you could step out of your body and fly up into the sky. You could take a look at your life from a bird’s-eye perspective, as we did in the exercise from the previous post.

Imagine all the different elements that currently play a role in your life and consciously remember all the elements and events that we’ve identified so far. Can you recognize that your life is the sum of stages, phases, chapters or, as I call it, rhythms?

Before we begin to identify which ones belong to you, it’s important that we discuss how to interpret them. To sort out the meaning of each ego-RHYTHM™ in your life, you judge of what road your life has taken, and you interpret where each rhythm should naturally belong.


No two people are alike. No two have the same feelings, or interpret events in the same manner. It is entirely up to you to establish how you feel about each main event that’s ruled your past or current ego-RHYTHM™. For this reason and to help you to understand this idea even better let me give you several examples.

Divorce as an ego-RHYTHM™

A divorce can fall into the Transition ego-RHYTHM™, if it is something you needed to do so you can move on. Divorce can also be a terrible Tragedy ego-RHYTHM™, especially for a woman who was a homemaker and who established her life to accommodate the needs of her family.

Divorce can be considered part of the Me ego-RHYTHM™ when your sense is that you finally get to define what it is that you want, and what makes you happy. If you were with an abusive husband, this could be one of the best things you have ever done. In this example, one event can be either good or bad depending on your point of view.

Family as an ego-RHYTHM™

Taking care of a family or a sick family member might be a choice or an obligation depending on your background and beliefs. Such events could therefore fall into either the Family ego-RHYTHM™ or the Bad Luck ego-RHYTHM™

College as an ego-RHYTHM™

Your college years might have been all about being a part of a club. You may have loved organizing and making flyers. You thrived on fundraising, research, and managed a calendar of interesting speakers and events. If your time in college was truly about education, list it under the Education ego-RHYTHM™.

If, even though you went to college to get an education, it was not your primary focus, and you found that you had the best time making friends and socializing, put your check mark on your want-it-all list next to “Friends” ego-RHYTHM™.

Finally, you might have met the most wonderful man in college, and you fell in love like you didn’t know you could. This was the most blissful time and you found perfect love (irrespective of whether or not you were able to hold onto it). Even today you might get teary-eyed and blush when you think about it. Or are you still married to this wonderful man? If college is a reminder of the love you share with another, the check mark goes next to “Love” ego-RHYTHM™.

You can see how this works. Have you identified even one of your past-life (as it were) egoRHYTHMs™? Let me know – I’d love to see how you’re faring on your journey of self-discovery. Thanks for sharing!

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