Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” ~ Helen Keller

I’ve created an exercise that will help you find what ego-RHYTHM™ you’re currently in.

You want to dig deep and identify the main focus or the main event happening right now in your life. Avoid thinking of only surface concerns, such as any financial worries and pressing day-to-day demands or to-do lists that you have at this time. What is the deeper underlying issue? What is the big-ticket item in your life right now?

Here are some questions for you to consider.

This could mean you are not in your Career ego-RHYTHM™ right now.

  • Are you trying to fit it all in as a new mom?

Perhaps you are in your Mom ego-RHYTHM™.

  • Is everything upside-down, and you feel that you are all over the place?
  • Nothing has transpired yet.
  • You feel something is coming but your direction is not clear.

This points to a Transition ego-RHYTHM™.

Although it would be great, if you’ve been dating but haven’t met that one guy or girl yet, you are not in your Love ego-RHYTHM™. If you have an aging parent you have to care for, and not much time for things other than the basics, you are in a Family ego-RHYTHM™.

Remember what the duration of your ego-RHYTHM™ is? The rhythm that you identified in the previous chapter will last about the same length of time. When did the shift from the previous to the current ego-RHYTHM™ occur? Use that as the beginning date/month/period of your current rhythm. You can assume that the duration of the ego-RHYTHM™ you just identified will be approximately the same length.

If your rhythm is not immediately clear, begin by eliminating the ego-RHYTHMs™ you’re not in. Take a piece of paper and make three columns. Write in the top line:


Ego-RHYTHM™ Present Past
Career possibly yes
Health possibly yes
Love possibly yes
Mom   yes
Bad Luck   yes
Tragedy   yes
Transition   possibly


Go through the types of ego-RHYTHM™. Put each ego-RHYTHM™ in the left column under ego-RHYTHM™. Think about whether or not each rhythm is one you are in presently, or is it a past event. Most likely you will end up with several choices in both columns. Disregard the past ego-RHYTHMs™ and focus on the ones that are in the “present” column.

Next, take a journal or a notepad and write a bit about each of the ego-RHYTHMs™ in your present column. Examine in detail which parts of them are present in your life at this moment. Note a “maybe” or a “definitely not” as you are moving through this exercise. As you dig deeper and examine what is going on in your life right now, you will recognize which aspects appear stronger than others. Eliminate the ones that are not as powerful as others.


Ego-RHYTHM™ Maybe Definitely Not
Love am in one, too many external circumstances that don’t fit
Career lots going on and moving forward  
Health still dealing with IBS  
Me   definitely more about what I want
Transition feels as if this one is coming to an end  


How has this worked for you? Let me know about the exercise, and whether you feel you’ve made progress. I want to know if these tools are helping you achieve your goals. Thanks so much for sharing!

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