Why do we become so emotional this time of the year? I am not usually a serious or depressed person. In fact, I often make jokes (usually at inappropriate times, which make them funnier to me) and I can laugh at myself instead of feeling embarrassed. But lately, I’ve not been my usual happy self. I feel heavy, way too emotional, and very alone.

Can you relate?

A few weeks ago, I was in Scottsdale speaking at a conference for women. I was the last speaker on the final day of the event and I was hoping to provide an inspirational grand finale. But, when I arrived at the conference, I fell sick with a nasty flu and had a terrible, persistent cough. I lost my voice the night before my presentation and I didn’t sleep well either. In short, I was pretty miserable. However, I love speaking to groups. As long as I can walk, I will get up on that stage to share the message of The Women’s Code.

I was worried that the attendees would look at their watches and think about their journeys home after an entire weekend spent mostly inside a conference room. They must have been tired of sitting, anxious to get home sooner rather than later, and I was worried that their attention was seriously waning.

Things happen for a reason. Because my presentation time had been pushed back, I was able to listen to a wonderful woman by the name of Renee Airya. She shared an amazing personal story and there was something about her that I really connected with. The next speaker after Renee was Lawrence Lanoff and his presentation was a powerful journey to the soul. Both of the speakers had very different, but very spiritual messages about connecting with your heart and FEELING more.

That is when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn’t feeling anything. I was pretending to feel, but what I was actually doing was trying to control everything with my head. I believe that is why I had lost my voice and why I was so sick that I could barely breathe!

I spent that afternoon in the back of the room watching and realizing something very important:

The time of seeking Gurus is over and now is the time to embrace communities. The time of WE has begun. To feel that sense of connectedness with others, we first must connect with ourselves. It’s not as simple as it sounds. You and I cannot control our world by our thoughts alone. Instead, we must connect with what we feel.

We have endured a few challenging years with an economy that stole the wind out of our sails, a world where true security seems unattainable, and many of us have gone through difficult personal life changes, myself included. It is hard to get in touch with the sensitive part of ourselves that feels after we’ve been through so much heartache.

The truth is we don’t WANT to be in our hearts because we don’t want to feel THAT. If we go there, it hurts. What we feel is not the blissful joy we desire. Instead, we feel pain for hard times in the past and for goals we have not yet accomplished, and we perceive a void in our lives. How can we create a positive future if we can’t pull away from our negative thoughts right now? It is a challenging concept.

Acceptance comes first. Surrender is second. This is how we pave the way for change.

I stopped running just like that. I know you can do the same. Let’s stop running away from what we feel and let’s take a moment to breathe. It is time to look at the first Pillar of Awareness that I discuss in detail in my book, Happy Woman Happy World. It is the most important starting point. Where are we at? What is going on? What are we feeling?

Sit on these feelings and understand you feel this way only for now, not forever. Let’s use this time of year to bring peace to our thoughts and feelings. Find a way to quiet your negative emotions by pushing yourself to do something you love. Personally, I have started to make plans to treat myself well, like booking a vacation in Hawaii so I can reconnect with nature and myself. What are you going to do to take good care of yourself? Please share your thoughts.

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