Last night I had dinner with a close friend who has been through the wringer for the last few years. Not much seems to go right in her life and her challenges have been piling up on all fronts. Relationship, business, kids, death, health – you name it, she’s dealing with it. For my friend, every day is hunker down time. There is no time to think or want. Her objective is to just make it through each day and wait for the dark curtain to lift a little.
One of my team members suffered a tragic loss of a child a few years back. For all of us who know what loss feels like, we remember that there are times of the year when it’s just more difficult, when our feelings pop up like uncorked champagne and spill all over.
Sometimes life isn’t fair and even if it is not our fault, bad stuff happens. And then more bad stuff. You may be in a Tragedy ego-RHYTHM® and if you have identified it as such then your entire goal is to make it through this phase somehow. The silver lining here is that nothing lasts forever, not even the worst of luck.
In my own life I’ve had a number of big bumps to deal with recently, from a freelancer who didn’t do what was agreed upon, to an associate who acted like a friend but his actions proved otherwise. Add growing pains of The Women’s Code during the slower summer months with cash flowing out but not in – it feels like a disappointment bonanza wherever I look.
But is it?
I am a big believer in choices. We always have a choice. We can try to protect ourselves from disappointments and cautiously tiptoe through our lives, worrying that someone, somewhere, may not be doing the right thing. Or we can live with abandon and believe that a life lived with integrity and based on personal values will ultimately reward us with happiness and love.
Disappointments are a part of life. If we didn’t know bad how then could we enjoy good? We have wishes, thoughts, dreams, and big ideas. But often these ‘what if’ scenarios get squashed by life. The love grows cold, the person didn’t step up or just left altogether, or we feel like we have been taken advantage of or lied to.
When dealing with disappointments first and most importantly you should take time to check in with yourself. From there, you can establish who we are and who we want to be in this situation.
Personally, I recommend stepping away until hurt and anger have subsided enough that we can get back to making good decisions. Clarity and integrity are the two terms that I revert to. What is the reality of this situation? In The Women’s Code we use the first Pillar of Awareness that shows us the questions to ask. Who do I want to be in this? Only you can answer what Core Code of Conduct you subscribe to and what the person you choose to be would and should do in this situation.
And when in doubt, do nothing.
You are so appreciated and if you are having a tough time right now, hang in there. It’s not always going to be like this. You know that goodness will prevail.
Here is an article with a few more suggestions for how to deal with disappointments. Let me know how you are dealing with your disappointments and please share your tips with our readers.
At her lowest point, Beate Chelette was $135,000 in debt, a single mother, and forced to leave her home. Only 18 months later, she sold her image licensing business to Bill Gates in a multimillion dollar deal. Chelette is a nationally known ‘gender decoder’ who has appeared in over 60 radio shows, respected speaker, career coach, consummate creative entrepreneur, and author of Happy Woman Happy World. Beate is also the founder of The Women’s Code, a unique guide to women leadership and personal and career success that offers a new code of conduct for today’s business, private, and digital worlds. Determined to build a community of women supporting each other, she took her life-changing formula documented it all in a book Brian Tracy calls “an amazing handbook for every woman who wants health, happiness, love and success!”
Through her corporate initiative “Why Acting Like a Girl Is Good For Business” she helps companies with gender diversification training, and to develop and retain women.
If you’d like to book Beate as a speaker on New Leadership Balance or Creative Entrepreneurship for your next event please connect with me.
Wow what a post. Been going through the wringer on several front myself the past couple of years. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I choose to behave in tough times. Your post and the article were spot on. Sending you a high five and a hug. (Because we all need them).