Winter View Looking East, Lake Tahoe, 2010.
(c) This week guest blogger Michael Stern from BuildABetterPhotograph.com writes for PhotoBizCoach.com
So, I’m like ya know listening to a ya know like radio program and do you, ya know ever, um, like listen to you know someone talk and they like um take a long time to get their point across? When people of all walks of life use these bridge words, I go nuts! And I also get turned off to the message they’re trying to get across. Bad habit bridge words are the bane of good conversation, interviews and just regular person to person communication. People don’t write like this but they um you know talk like this.
For the next week, really listen to how people talk. To others and to you. On radio, tv and in person. Which ones sound intelligent and which ones don’t? When speaking to your clients and potential clients, how do they sound? Which ones speak in thoughtful language (which makes you feel comfortable and reaffirms you’re dealing with the right person) and which ones make you think otherwise? For example, eleven years ago I was part of an audience listening to a speaker who didn’t use a single obvious or annoying bridge word the entire time she spoke. I was mesmerized at how she commanded me to listen. She was a real pro and her message was properly sent and (at least for me), properly received. Since that eventful day, I practice good speech habits.
How do you talk? Record your own voice and find out. Try it and you’ll be surprised at how well you sound…. or horrified at how difficult it is to follow your speech. Come across as an intelligent, thoughtful person and your pricing structure and sales pitches are protected from being perceived as less intelligent or educated than they could be. Most clients have college degrees and hang out with other educated people and/or have had to mingle with company bigwigs (who are highly educated). This breeds a certain level of expectations when it comes to conversation. A poor conversation (using basically, um, ya know, like bridge words) is an obstacle to success.
Why do this to yourself? With effort and time, this problem is fixable. Monitor your conversations via a digital voice recorder, listen to others speak (radio interview are a great source), take notes and be prepared to change what is usually a long-standing bad habit.
Here is a small list of annoying bridge words: um, ya know, you know, like, basically and ah. Please add to this list.
Cheers!
Beate – here’s my phrase that I absolutely must drop from my conversations: “I don’t know”. How terrible is it to be talking to a client, and have them hear those words from their prospective photographer? I don’t remember when I started saying it, but work on it constantly.
That’s a good one John! I got little stickers from a speaker trainer that I put on my watch. Everytime I look at my watch I am reminded not to say UH. It’s all about training yourself and practice.
John,
I sometimes say “I don’t know but I’ll find out and let you know.” Then of course I get back to them within two days….. This is a way to build trust with a client and it motivates me to learn how to get to yes.
Conversations where I say I don’t know ,hopefully the other person is doing their part of listening at that moment so they may give me more information to solve our mutual problem. Remember to have a calm assertive tone in your voice . slow down