There is a between action and consequence. Negative events keep you tossing and turning because you don’t trust your own decisions (or you feel you’ve lost control over something you still think you can control). Your own ability to put faith into your own decisions can prevent you from letting things go. As long as you can’t accept what is, you can’t relax.

In moments when you feel cornered and see no way out, it might help to remember that things won’t always be as bad as they are now. This is worth repeating. We tend to get lost in stressful moments, unable to see beyond them.

But: You will move on. You always do. You always have. The worst breakup heals, and even the greatest loss becomes, not only less painful, but part of your makeup, something that over time fosters wonderful memories. While I never thought that I would stop crying over my father’s passing, the pain did go away, and my fond memories of him remain. There is a lot you can do to get through the tough times, and to move to a better place faster.

First and foremost, use KARL™ as a way to keep actively reminding yourself to get back to your current life.

As an IBS sufferer, I need to continuously remind myself to avoid holding my breath, and to relax my tummy. When I began to listen to the Michael Mahoney IBS Audio Program 100™, I realized that, when I get stressed, I unintentionally tense up the muscles of my abdomen. Sometimes I catch myself literally holding my breath. My body reacts when I get uptight.

You’ll need to examine your own physical issues – whether it’s a kink or your neck or a tension headache you find yourself battling every day at work. Uncovering the connection between the inability to relax and how the body reacts to stress is key to understanding how relaxation can be healing. The most effective way of not allowing stress to manifest itself physically is to schedule some “you,” or relaxation time in your day.

Some of my colleagues begin their days with a relaxing meditation. Max Simon, an inspirational speaker, meditates tan hour a day, 30 minutes in the morning, and 30 minutes in the evening. Honorée Corpron, a coach and author of “The Successful Single Mom,” uses the Silva Method of relaxation every day, and she swears by it. She meditates for at least 15 minutes before getting out of bed. Honoree calls this time “the best 27 minutes of my day.”

For those times when she doesn’t have a half hour, she also uses a 15-minute meditation that she says is the equivalent to four hours of sleep. Honorée also does some form of physical exercise for 20-30 minutes right after meditating. “Meditation centers me and relieves mental stress, exercise releases any physical stress and raises my vibration,” she says. “I truly feel unstoppable with this magic combination.” Honorée finds both meditation and exercise, which some days is just a walk around the block, as important to her as air and water.

There are many studies that have made a connection between relaxation and our mental and physical wellbeing. If we continue to push ourselves too hard, we have a good chance of wearing ourselves down. How do you relax when life and all its business is going on around you? Let me know – I’d love to hear from you.

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